“You are a victim of the rules you live by.” ~ Anonymous
Remember the first time you crossed the empty street when the do not walk sign was still flashing red?
I do. And I’ll never forget that feeling I got from doing so that first time. That feeling as exhilarating as stepping on the moon, of going where no man has gone before (I thought so at the time). That euphoric feeling in which I realized that the constraints I once thought physical and unbreakable were in fact mental and fragile.
Sometimes the simplest of childhood moments changes your life forever. For some it’s seeing someone on television receiving bewildering amounts of praise from girls of all kinds (John Lennon seeing Elvis Presley), and for others it’s hearing classical or jazz music. For me, this was it – crossing the street illegally at age 7.
My views on rules, authority, and society were forever changed! It was as if I had taken the red pill and finally seen the world for what it truly was. The world was not as almighty and unchangeable as I once thought it was.
Rules didn’t have to be followed!
With those few illegal steps I had unknowingly altered my own future drastically.
I had unknowingly uncovered something about the world that the majority of people never do. At that moment I realized that we all live by a set of rules.
I realized that most of the things we do are in accordance with rules which we (now) subconsciously follow (they had to be taught to us as kids):
- Wearing clothes in public is a rule most live by.
- Walking on feet is a rule most live by.
- Sleeping at night is a rule most live by.
- Pasts and past actions are rules most live by.
- Reading left to right is a rule most live by.
And those are just the ones people usually never think about. There are even more rules people don’t voice their opinions on because it’s too revolutionary an act to even ponder:
- Following the same religion as their parents is a rule most live by.
- Following ANY religion is a rule most live by.
- Staying in a bad marriage for the kids is a rule most live by.
- Going to college because parents and society said so is a rule most live by.
- Going to college, finding a steady job in a fortune 500 company, getting a house (and a mortgage), having 2.5 kids, a car, and then sending those kids off to college/university is a rule most live by.
- Going along with the laws of your country, even when they’re morally wrong, is a rule most live by.
At that moment when I illegally crossed the street, I had made the invisible rules that we live by visible to myself. I saw parents living by rules that required them to keep up with the Joneses even if it was killing them and driving them into poverty. I saw kids who wanted to be artists become businessmen and lawyers because everyone in their family was a businessman and/or lawyer and thus to them being anything but was unfathomable. And I saw Caucasian children not play with African children (and vice versa) because their parents told them it was forbidden to do so.
As I grew older, and continued to see the rules that people live by everywhere, I properly freaked out.
Who was I to see the world this way? What made me so special?
Thus, for a good number of years, I did nothing. I saw people living horribly due to certain rules they lived by (that they couldn’t see), and I did nothing. I let them suffer, and I let myself suffer in the process.
But in a twist of fate I found myself with a blog; I found myself with a voice. And I found myself yelling! (I couldn’t contain myself anymore it seems.)
I found myself yelling to the world that the rules it abides by slavishly don’t have to be followed. I found myself yelling to the ‘status quo seekers’ that the status quo is what’s making them miserable. I found myself yelling to the artistic child that they don’t have to be businessmen and lawyers, even if their parents say so. And I found myself telling the world that we can all get along, despite what our pasts and what our laws tell us.
I found myself yelling, “You are a victim of the rules you live by! Abandon those rules and be a victim no more!”
If the rules you live by are holding you back from being better or from being happy, lose them. They are not as permanent as you think they are.
In fact, that’s the only way the world will change for the better. By having people abandon “unchangeable” rules. Racial and sexual equality laws are only here today because a few brave people chose to no longer live by the rules society set upon them. Airplanes and submarines were only invented because a few foolhardy people chose to abandon rules the world told them they had to live by (man cannot fly or breath underwater right?).
All great acts attack the rules we live by.
All great acts laugh at commonly held beliefs and tell them that they can do better. Rules tell great acts, “You can’t do that!”, and the great acts simply smile a devilish smile and say, “Watch me!”
We are victims to the rules we live by. But if we make these invisible rules visible, we can attack them. We can change them for the better, laugh in their faces, and demolish them.
It won’t be easy. The rules are sturdy and widely held (that’s why they’re rules afterall). But if you persist and continue pushing, and get a little help along the way, you can topple the great pillar before you.
Every new year, every new month, and every new day ask yourself three questions, “What invisible rules am I and the people around me living by? Which of these is making life worse or can be bettered? And how can I contribute to the betterment of that rule?”
If you see the rules you’re a victim to for what they are – changeable, you can do great things. For all greatness requires is a toppling of a bad rule many unknowingly live by. Which shall you topple today?
photo credit: Ed.ward