“Ubervegan” lifestyle week #1 ends today on a mildly positive note. Firstly, here’s the list of what I had each day of this week:
Sunday
- Orange Juice
- Peanuts
- Sweet Peas
Monday
- V8 Vegetable Cocktail
- Orange Juice
- Peanuts
- Cashews
- Corn
- Sweet Peas
Tuesday
- Vegetable Mix #1- Beans, Sweet Peas, Mushrooms, Salt, and Jamaican Style Curry Powder
- Vegetable Mix #2- Sweet Peas, and Corn
- Soybean Chocolate Milk
- Water
Wednesday
- Orange Juice
- Sweet Peas
- Pineapple Slices
- V8 Vegetable Cocktail
- Peanuts and Raisins Mix
- Vegetable Mix #3- Soya Beans, Sweet Peas, Salt, and marinated with Hand Squeezed Orange Juice
Thursday
- Water
- Tomatoes
- Apples
- Vegetable Mix #4- Mushrooms and Sweet Peas
- *White Rice*
- *White Bread*
- *Sugared Fruitopia Drink*
Friday
- *Chips Ahoy Cookies*
- Banana and Strawberry Juice Mix
- Corn
- *Chips*
- *Popeye’s Biscuits*
- Kiwi and Strawberry Juice Mix
- *Korean BBQ Meat*
Saturday
- *Popeye’s Biscuits*
- Banana and Strawberry Juice Mix
- Peanuts
Weekly Breakdown:
As you can see I started on a positive note and basically got through the week until Hunger-Filled-Growling-Stomach-Thursday came along. I had nothing to eat that day that was part of the Ubervegan Dietary Lifestyle (all the asterisks mark the items that are NOT part of the Ubervegan lifestyle) so I ended up eating some of my roommates foods and drinks (I’m such a wonderful roommate to have). This thus caused me to make my first Ubervegan rule:
Ubervegan Rule #1- If you have nothing else to eat around you, and there is no way of attaining these items, then it is okay to eat outside of the ubervegan dietary plan. This is purely for survival means and to not be extended indefinitely.
My body surprisingly protested to me consuming these items and I could feel it curse me to eternal damnation and (of course) later on it exacted revenge on me in the form on extreme bowel movements. Somebody seriously needs to tell my body that survival trumps all other cards in life.
On Friday I was out all day with friends celebrating Pre-Halloween/Halloween and we ended up going to Korean BBQ. At first I was going to protest and not go with them but I went anyways based on the facts that I WILL NOT be one of those vegetarians/vegans that annoy the shit out of people by telling them meat and milk is evil incarnate, change to my lifestyle, it’s healthier, save the cute and cuddly animals, blah blah blah (does this officially make me evil now?). I mainly went though because I decided I will enjoy all opportunities to have fun with people I care about and I would gladly eat hazardous materials if it guarantees that I will have a great time with my friends. Bring on the toxic waste and mothers yelling “If your friends jumped off a bridge would you do it to?” (my answer being “In a heartbeat” of course). Out of all this rule #2 was born:
Ubervegan Rule #2- If eating meat/dairy and anything non-ubervegan is in direct correlation with having fun with the people you care about, then it is allowed.
A healthy person will not become magically unhealthy if they go to McDonald’s once a month, and this is basically the same principle I’m applying for rule two. I will practice the Ubervegan Dietary Lifestyle, but when I have to go out to restaurants or somewhere else related I will eat like everyone else unless Ubervegan items are available (looking for Ubervegan items are Korean BBQ ended up being a joke the moment I stepped in; meat and white rice everywhere.)
Oh, and to clear something up, I did not start the Ubervegan Dietary Lifestyle because I’m concerned about animals rights in general (if you had delusions about me being caring you were well… deluded). I do care about animals and their rights, even though I know more than the average person of just how badly they have it (does corn fed cows, pigs, and fish ring a bell?) I realize that there are far greater evils in this world. My contribution to the reduction of animal abuse became a sort of positive outcome of this whole thing but… I am the type of person who will eat meat once in a while and not feel suicidal tendencies overwhelming me. Call me a bad vegan, call me a non-vegan, I DON”T CARE; I did not become an Ubervegan because I wanted to please other people (I would have stayed normal if I wanted to do that).
That’s it for this week. I’ll continue documenting what I eat, adding more rules along the way, having fun, and basically living. Look for next weeks update on Sunday.