the first lesson on appearance
don’t talk too much
don’t smile too often
don’t express your inner universe
with your eyes
and don’t laugh with joy
while complimenting everyone
or the average woman will assume
you’re gay, but closeted
and they’ll friend-zone you
with the kind intention of being
that one friend
that you confide in
and since you mostly can’t
won’t, change a woman’s mind
once she’s made it up
it’s best to avoid them
being wrong about you
and your sexuality
in the first place
but, all of that
all of this is a lot
easier as a man
if you don’t care about
what women think of you
this isn’t a movie
just ask any woman
who’s learnt not to care
about what any man thinks
of her
the second lesson on courtship
men ain’t shit, so
easy women have been hurt and broken
hearted by a couple of men
so they’ll let you in
but they’ll never let you in
because they can’t anymore
average women demand
the fantastic praises of
i love yous
because that’s what
the books they read and
the movies they watch demand
of their self-love
but fantasy is fiction and
fiction is a lie, and you’re too busy
truthfully focusing on you
for a truthful courtship
so, since you’re trying not to lie
it’s best that you avoid the latter
the average woman
which is easier said than done
just focus on easy women
who don’t care about the chase
even if they’re far in-between
even if their hearts are a bit colder
than yours
even if their smiles never reach their eyes
and if you find an average woman
who’s not bitter
and who’s not looking for love
hold on to her
but not too tightly
because you don’t have time
for anything but self-love
and you don’t want your actions
to say that you have more of that
to give than you do
since a false promise is still a lie
the third lesson on sex
don’t believe in romance fantasies
like Bridgerton
women hit on men more
when they’re in a relationship
men ain’t shit, they’re easy
and it’s easier to have sex with women
if you’re in a relationship
and willing to lie
than if you’re single and truthful
yes, a lot of people are single
and truthful
but even more are in relationships
and like facing unemployment
getting out of a relationship
when we don’t have another one
set up to catch us scares us
so more than just some of us
in dead relationships cheat
and those who cheat cheat
with someone else who’s
in a relationship
because of the certainty of it
everyone having something to lose
if the truth comes out
eases the anxiety in air
and it’s a lot easier to have sex
if there’s a lie in the air
so if you’ve chosen the unnecessary burden
of not having lies as your wingman
then be prepared to go without sex
luckily though, you’re focusing on you
and luckily again, trusting a new man
another man, is hard for women
so a lot of the women you’ve been with
will answer those midnight texts
even if you’ve hurt them
by letting them know that
you don’t have time for love
and all that it entails