The INTRO
It seems as if I have once again decided to inflict more harm (self-discipline really) onto myself in the name of I-dunno-what (something provocative). I’ve decided that on top of being Ubervegan I’m going to be sleeping two hours a day. Yup, TWO HOURS A DAY, for at least three months (aiming for a full year).
Now, you may be wondering just how the f**k I’m going to live on two hours sleep per day for three months. The answer is simple really: through polyphasic sleeping. See “normal” people (referring to the majority) practice what is known as monophasic sleeping which more or less means “sleeping one time per day”. From this you can deduct that “biphasic” sleepers sleep twice per day, “triphasic” thrice per day, and “polyphasic” more than thrice.
Polyphasic sleepers usually go through five phases (the humor comes from realizing that they resemble the five stages of grief):
- Pre-polyphasic phase (denial)- The soon to be polyphasic sleeper is extremely excited about final getting to master time and space, they “knew something like this HAD to exist”. Imagining all the things they will do with their new found extra time their blood pressure continues to rise.
- Infected-pre-zombie phase (anger)- The polyphasic sleeper has began their nap schedules, was doing fine, but is now feeling the effects of sleep deprivation arriving.
- Changing-into-zombie phase (bargaining)- the polyphasic sleeper now starts to desperately try everything to stay awake (picture someone chugging a whole case of red bull), even though they realize that things are slowly getting worse and worse.
- Zombie phase (depression)- The polyphasic sleeper is now defeated. Now resembling a zombie (drooping arms/shoulders, slow paced, bloodshot/puffy eyes, murmured speech, etc.) they are drained of all energy and are only waking up from their naps by pure instinct.
- Defeat phase (acceptance)- The polyphasic sleeper now believes that everything they read/heard was a lie, they “knew nobody could live on two hours of sleep per day”, and soon accept that they need sleep. They now proceed to take that 8-24 hour nap they’ve been desperately craving for.
…Wait, what? The outcome is a failure? Why the f**k do this then? Are you a masochist now Arsène?
Well… the truth is that there is a 6th phase few reach. In this stage the polyphasic sleepers (the few left) who had decided to (against all possible reasonable explanations) continue with their polyphasic sleeping just a little more are now rewarded. The have now passed the hardest stages of polyphasic sleeping and from here on out they are MASTERS OF TIME (nerdy title, I know).
There are more than three polyphasic sleep patterns, but in the interest of keeping this article short I’ll only focus on the three main patterns; Everyman, Uberman, and Dymaxion.
Everyman is probably my safest bet for polyphasic sleeping. It’s the only one of the three that has a “core nap”. The core nap can range from 1.5 hours to 3 hours while the rest of the naps range from 20-30 minutes. If you choose 3 hours you usually balance it with three short naps after, and if you choose 1.5 hours you can balance it with anywhere from 3-6 naps (more is necessary since you got less sleep). Since Everyman has a core period it is the most flexible of the three mentioned patterns because the core period can (over time) be interchanged with one of the other naps hence… flexible. But, although it is the most flexible due to the core nap, it is also the longest to adapt to because it is not as drastic of a change as the other two.
Uberman (rhymes with Ubervegan :)) is the next safest for me. It consists of 6 twenty minute naps evenly distributed throughout the day, coming to one 20 minute nap every four hours. This is NOT a flexible schedule, if you miss one nap or push it farther/earlier you mess up your pattern, and get to experience the joys of sleep deprivation all over again. The good thing is that this provides you with the least amount of sleep required, two hours and that it is one of the quickest to adapt to (no longer than a week) due to how drastic it is.
Being the idiot that I am, I chose to go with the Dymaxion schedule. Like Uberman, Dymaxion sleep lasts a total of two hours a day, is not flexible, and is quickly adaptable. The only difference being that instead of 6 twenty minute naps, it consists of four 30 minute naps. This is the hardest schedule to adopt, so hard in fact that there is no documented proof of a modern person actually living on this long-term :|. So, I might die or go crazy… bummer.
The SCHEDULE
My nap times are going to be
- 3:30 AM – 4:00 AM
- 9:30 AM – 10:00 AM
- 3:30 PM – 4:00 PM
- 9:30 PM – 10:00 PM
These times work best with my schedule and hopefully there won’t be interruptions when I need to take a nap.
The PROOF
Throughout this whole thing I decided that I would need proof, no matter how small, of me actually doing this. Best system I can figure out for now is
- Constant Twitter updates through my account @dancePROOF with a hashtag of #polyphasic attached (especially around my nap times). I decided that I wouldn’t blog daily about this because a daily post on this would quickly make this the major topic on this blog, which I don’t want. I’d rather you focus on other areas more than this (such as society & beliefs). But, I still wanted to constantly keep you in the know-how of how I’m doing, hence Twitter.
- Daily Flickr self-portait pictures through my account ArsenePROOF. I decided to align this with my “365 day self-potrait” goal (something photographers do) and kill two birds with one stone. I’d rather you see the effect of Dymaxion sleep with your own eyes.
- Weekly dancePROOF posts every Monday documenting, in detail, how the prior week went. I’ll keep a daily log of my discoveries and happenings then basically dump it all in one blog post per week. After two months (if I reach that) I will change this to a monthly update every first Monday as I did with the Ubervegan updates.
Well, that’s as far as I planned into this. Hopefully you enjoy my updates, don’t laugh too loudly at my pics, and generally learn something new (always my goal). PS- I officially started December 27, 2009, just couldn’t wait till January 2010.
Dymaxion Sleep- Week 1
Dymaxion Sleep- Week 2
Dymaxion Sleep- Month 1
Dymaxion Sleep- Month 2
photo credit: danielfoster437